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Tuesday, March 04, 2008
I know if you knew, youd understand..
Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis . .
Closed off from love
I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen
But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
And everyone's looking round
Thinking I'm going crazy
But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open
Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling
But nothing's greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe
But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open
And it's draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see
I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
Posted at 06:26 pm by jenifa__
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Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Differences.. Similarities.
You know, Sometimes i dunno why i put up being in this relationship. There are certain things i like about it that our one didnt have like in his case i suppose trust. He has trust in me the only thing is.. Our relationship rubbed off on me & i got so used to never having to worry about other girls. I know our arguments continued on because of me, I know i was partly to blame though.. I wish it were easier for me to understand instead of having it all turn around back onto me. I now have my own insecurities about this relationship im in now. It follows me where ever i go as everyday passes by. But I havent done anything wrong in this relationship for him to be insecure about me. Im never the one that has something to hide im never the one lying & getting caught. & frankly im over the whole thing. I heard you still ask about me. Wonder how i am. Honestly i do the same. Why cant we grow up & Hold a mature relationship as friends. Its worth a try. As far as i know i still want you a part of my life. Not as a boyfriend figure but as a friend. Its such a shame our paths didnt give us the chance to build a Friendship. Anyhow who knows? Maybe one day we'll manage to socialise & catch up holding a proper conversation, Overlooking and letting go of our history. Hope youve been well Hung. Takecare.
Jennifer.
Posted at 02:13 pm by jenifa__
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Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Circle - Marques Houston.
Ran across the picture you took of me
And you crossed my mind
I still hear you saying you love me
When I close my eyes.
A couple nights ago, I heard you cried. Cried For ME @ Tim's Party.
WHY? If you wernt happy without me why didnt you say something before?
THE QUESTION I ASK MYSELF?
Why Didnt you do something about it While you had the chance to?
YOU HAD THAT LONG. You knew it too.
when i think back, at our relationship. we were the perfect couple. Excluding all the drama & bullshit people did to fuck everything up for us. he was the perfect boyfriend without all the over protectivness & ive got to admit i wouldve been the perfect girlfriend without the occasional bitch fits & break downs from him not trusting me but has he ever stopped & thought about whether its me he doesnt trust? OR was it the guy he didnt trust. If everything was true, All that BULLSHIT was true, wouldnt you think i would be with that other guy RIGHT NOW? No i am not. Yet i find myself in a new relationship, Im finding hard to get used to.
No matter how badly i want to make another guy like him in certain ways, its not going to happen. I admit he rubbed off with his insecurities on me. I got used to the way he wouldnt look at any other girl but ME. No one was more beautiful than me. No other girl mattered & i had nothing to be worried about. & Frankly yes he had nothing to be worried about either, seeing as though every guy knew jennifer loves hung. dont talk to jennifer on msn it might be her boyfriend he might get angry at her. dont call jennifer because she might be with her boyfriend & he might get angry at her. dont invite jennifer to birthday partys because she wont be allowed to go. I remember this one time i got invited to a birthday party, kristy's. But i said nah i dont think i can make it.. she asked why.. My reply? The truth. I dont think my bf will be happy about it cause theres guys there. & you wonder why i got angry sometimes. But honestly i got used to it. I adapted to that change. My Realationship now? Its just so different. & So hard to adapt to but it will hopefully get easier for me. Ill accept that yes there are other girls out there who are better than i am & maybe i will get used to it just like i did with him. Because of him, I have trouble trusting. I have trouble Loving.
because of him indeed im the cold hearted bitch i am.
If people didnt fuck around with us where would we be? Probably still together and somewhere happy. If I'm supposed to be moved on to new relationships, why are you still haunting me?
Just takecare of yourself.
One day we'll be friends right? If we wernt already.
jennifer.
Posted at 06:08 am by jenifa__
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Thursday, February 08, 2007
Maybe one day, This is what we'll be. Funny how we cant stand one another sometimes. But i know one day, id like him to be a part of my life again. Even just as friends.
godbless him & his family. <3
jennifer.
Posted at 05:48 pm by jenifa__
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Sunday, December 24, 2006
Your hearts where I laid my head.
He called me the other night, made me so upset. But yet so happy inside. i fucken miss him so much. so many choices & decisions to make, by doing what he tells me to do. how do i know it wont be all the same thing again? how do i know this isnt all a joke to him cause he was drunk, he can handle his drinks? yet, he told me something that i didnt want to hear & blamed it on being drunk. ahh i admit im frustrated & upset. but thats life, its a bitch. Honestly he hasnt been on net, ive waited just thinking that he might sign in. everytime my phone rings i have some sort of hope now that its him calling. i want to call him, but what do i say? where do i start? with an i love you? ahh.
hope he is safe & healthy, along with his family.
I Love U Twinkie. aiint no ones gonna replace what we had, youll always have my heart. To me? we are always going to be bigger than anything. baby dont forget about us.
How do i breathe - Mario / song reminds me of him. i changed the lyrics around though. <3
How do I breathe
How do I breathe mmm mmm..
Feels so different being here
I'm so used to being next to you
Life for me is not the same
Theres no-one to talk to
Don't know why I let it go too far
Starting over it's so hard
Seems like everywhere I try to go
I keep thinking of you
I just had a wakeup call
Wishing that I never let you fall
Baby your not to blame at all
When i'm the one that pushed you away
Baby if you knew I care
You never would’ve went nowhere
Boy I should have been right there
How do I breathe
Without you here by my side
How will I see
when Your love brought me to the light
Where do I go
When your hearts where I lay my head
When your not with me
How do I breathe
How do I breathe
Boy I'm losing my mind
Yes I made a mistake
Thought that you would be mine
Guess the joke was on me
I miss you so bad I cant sleep
I wish I knew where you could be
Another girl is replacing me
Boy this cant be happening
I just had a wakeup call
Wishing that I never let you fall
Baby your not to blame at all
When i'm the one that pushed you away
Baby if you knew I care
Posted at 06:09 pm by jenifa__
Monday, December 18, 2006
i hope that you wont be gone for long.
last night i tried, but i couldnt sleep. thoughts of you was in my head. I was lonely & i needed you next to me.
some nights lonely she thinks of him,
some nights lonely he think of her,
some times these thoughts occur at the same time,
& they connect without ever knowing it.
Posted at 09:13 pm by jenifa__
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Friday, December 01, 2006
& just when i thought i was with you again, i woke up with tears running down my face.
Last night i finally dreamt about him. i wish these dreams came more often. i woke up crying thinking it was real. i tried to get back to sleep but it didnt work. its been four months now. why does he still linger, why cant i love anyone after him. why do i still miss him. & WHY cant i let go.
i want to call him, but i stop myself.
i just want to see him again. whether in my dreams or in real life either way i can look into his eyes. i want to know if the love he had for me is really gone. or is it still there as much as it is for me..
i pray him & his family are safe & healthy.
<3
& when that day comes, ill cherish it.
i love you peanut.
Posted at 03:38 pm by jenifa__
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Wednesday, November 08, 2006
but i keep thinking, one day.
i cant bear to take our photos down from my walls, but i cant bear to look at it.
i fall asleep thinking about him, but i hardly ever dream about him.
i cant stop thinking about him, but i can barely remember his face.
i cant stop talking about him, but i refuse to listen to anything about him.
why am i so complicated.
its funny how much changes over the 3 months. mine & his one year wouldve been 5 days ago. like when i think about it i wish we got that far. & sometimes i wish we never got as far as we did. but im proud to say he was my longest relationship. a part of me wants him to read this but then theres a large part that doesnt want him to read this.
theres so much that hasnt sunk in yet.
- not having someone to tell me what i can & cant do
- having arguments then making up, i actually miss having those lil misunderstandings.
- not having someone to talk to all day & night.
- having someone want me to be at their house early just so they can wake up with me by their side.
- being told i am loved everyday, or at least knowing it.
- actually loving & being attached so much to one person.
i know i cant talk to him anymore or know how he is but, i hope him & his family are safe & healthy.
... because at the end of the day it's still you. and to know what it is to love someone unconditionally, meaning even when they dont love you back anymore and it means losing everything you stood for, it gives you a reason to smile.
<3
Posted at 04:12 pm by jenifa__
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Saturday, May 20, 2006
well we are over now.. i dont know what to say.. but the 6months, 2 weeks & 3 days that ive spent being your girlfriend made me the happiest girl. happier than ive ever been with someone. thankyou for all the good memories we shared together they will never be forgotten, the chicken dance in the park, the time we went to darling harbour, james & tangs bday.. our first kiss. Wev been through the bad, but i guess every relationship has them. I know i havent been the best girlfriend, but i know ive tried to be. we cant say we didnt try to make it work. I know ill always have love for you. To me we will always be twinkie & bonbon. its the memories that are going to kill me the most. Im just hoping you find the happiness you deserve. Also take care of bekka shes a great sister to have, i found a great friend in her. take care of yourself hung.. i wish you all the best in life.
Our memories are all around me..
http://allure-inc.blogdrive.com/
http://her-story.blogdrive.com/
http://bonbons2twinkie.blogdrive.com/
http://xanga.com/jenifaxox
http://blogs.cjb.net/bonbongirl/
Posted at 05:16 pm by jenifa__
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relates to this relationship =[
well these lyrics remind me of this relationship. i sat in my room crying to this song. Dont really know why, but it reminds me of me&him arguing etc. i miss him..
FRANKIE J
"We Still"
[Verse 1]
I know that you and I have been through many downs before oh yeah...
But that don't mean the chance
Has gone away to love each other more
We've struggled and we've fought
To keep us both between the lines oh yeah...
Through many years we've cried our tears
And always kept our pride aside...so you can't say that...
[Chorus]
We still...
Always argue all the time
Never make love when its right
We still...
Never say we love each other
Always up in one another
We still...
Fight for every little thing
Never ever stop to think that we still...
Always loved each other
[Verse 2]
I know at times, you'd believe we would never change..oh yeah...
You said we'd never change...
That it was much to overcome
Much of an obstacle to take mmmm
But you were always one
To always think the worst of things yeah...
Yeah...yeah..
So it was always me to take the stand
And take the initiative so you can't say that...
[Chorus]
We still...fight for every little thing
Never ever stop to think that we still
Always loved each other
Posted at 01:44 am by jenifa__
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